Kumashumi eminyaka akutshanje, kuye kwasasazwa ulwazi olunzulu ehlabathini lonke malunga nokupheliswa kokuphathwa kakubi kwamabhinqa. Kodwa abantu abaqhelekileyo abasoloko beyazi indlela yokwenza oko. Apha siza kuthetha ngayo indlela yokunceda umfazi obethwayo.
Indlela yokunceda umfazi obethwayo?
Inkxalabo yokuqala esithwaxayo kwiimeko ezinokubakho zoxhatshazo kukuxhalaba kokwenza izinto ngokungekho sikweni, ukufunda ngendlela engeyiyo imeko ngeendidi ezininzi. UmSamariya olungileyo unokugqiba ekubeni lundwendwe olucaphukisayo oludala ukucaphuka kunye neengxabano apho kwakungekho nakuphi na ekuqaleni, ubuncinane kungekhona kwinqanaba eliphakanyisiweyo.
Ngoko ke, ngaphandle komngcipheko wokuwela kwizityholo zobuxoki, kufuneka sikhumbule iimpawu ezisisiseko zokuba umntu osondeleyo ngokwenene uphathwa kakubi ukuze afunde. indlela yokunceda umfazi obethwayo. Enye yazo, eyona nto iphezulu, lutshintsho oluthile kumfanekiso wakho womzimba.
Indlela yakho yokunxiba inokuba ngwevu kakhulu kwaye iphantsi, emva kokuba nemikhwa eqaqambileyo yokubonisa. Oku kudla ngokwenzeka rhoqo ngokomyalelo womxhaphazi, ongazinyamezeliyo iilokhwe inkanuko ngokubagqala njengesenzo esicaphukisayo kwamanye amadoda ngumlingani wabo. Isenokubonakaliswa nakweminye imiba yobuhle, enje ngeenwele ezidumbileyo okanye eziqokelelweyo kunye nokungabikho kwe-lipstick, eyayixhaphakile ngaphambili.
Enye inkalo ekufuneka iqwalaselwe sisimo sengqondo esiqhelekileyo somfazi ekuthethwa ngaye. Ingabonakalisa njengomntu obonakala enomaleko wokudodobala kokudakumba ngaphezulu komnye umaleko wonxunguphalo olunzima, emva kokuba ngumntu onomdla nonobulali. Ukuba esi simo sengqondo sibi kakhulu phambi komlingane wabo, sihamba kunye nemeko ethile yeprofayili ephantsi kunye nokungeniswa, kunokuba ngumqondiso wokuxhatshazwa.
Imeko yokongamela isenokuba iye yaba mandundu kangangokuba iluthintele ngokunzulu unxibelelwano lwabo nokusingqongileyo. Emva koko sinokubona utshintsho kwimikhwa yabo yokuphuma rhoqo, ngokungabikho rhoqo nokude kunxulumano oluyimfuneko, njengentsapho nabahlobo abangokwahlulwayo. Ikwayinto eqhelekileyo ukuba, xa kucetywa umsitho wolonwabo, badla ngokuchaza imfuneko yokubonisana neqabane labo ngaphambi kokuba benze isigqibo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, isilumkiso esibomvu kwiimeko ezininzi sinokubakho kokulimala kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zomzimba, okunzima ukuzichaza. Amaxesha amaninzi isingxengxezo esoyikekayo somfazi obethwayo ngokugruzuka okanye ukukrweleka ngokufuthi sibonisa ukuxhatshazwa okuye kwahambela phambili ukusa kwinqanaba lokwenza ixhoba lalo lizive linetyala ngenxa yokwenzakala.
Kule vidiyo ilandelayo yingcali yengqondo u-Isabel Menéndez Benavente, okuncinci kuphononongwa ekuchongeni imeko yokuxhatshazwa kunye nokuxhatshazwa. indlela yokunceda umfazi obethwayo
Ukuqhubela phambili kokuxhatshazwa
Kodwa ufikelela njani kweli nqanaba? Amaxesha amaninzi, owasetyhini owoyisiweyo uye akhethwe kamva ngenxa yokungaqapheli iimpawu ezicacileyo ngoku zokuxhatshazwa liqabane lakhe. Ukuqhubela phambili okucothayo okukhoyo phakathi kobudlelwane obuguqukayo, ukusuka kubudlelwane obunothando ukuya kwingcinezelo yasekhaya, akuhoywa.
Mhlawumbi yinto efana nokwenzeka kumazwe amaninzi athe angena kubuzwilakhe ngeminyaka yokhukuliseko lwamaziko. Kuba ingeyonkqubo yokubetha-nokuqhuba, abemi baneengxaki zokusabela, ukulala ngaphakathi kwenkqubo ebekiweyo. Eli bhinqa likwaphathwa kakubi, likhuselwe ngokwasengqondweni kwiminyaka yokuqala elungileyo yobulungisa yaye lide lizibek’ ityala ngokungaxabisi imeko yalo ngokwaneleyo.
Enye indlela yokuziphatha eyenza kube nzima ukusabela kwimpatho-gadalala nokuba uyichonge, yintshukumo engaguqukiyo ye-pendulum phakathi komonakalo omasikizi kunye nembonakaliso emnandi yenguquko nothando. Intshukumo eqhelekileyo kakhulu phakathi kwama-narcissists kunye nazo zonke iintlobo zee-manipulators ezineemeko zengqondo ezityekele ekulawuleni.
Oku kudala utshintsho olugqwethekileyo apho isohlwayo sinokuthi samkelwe ngokungazi ngokulindela okukhobokisayo kokulandelayo, kothando olungenathemba, uxolelwaniso. Kwezi meko zolawulo oluxhaphazayo, izinto zithatha inkalo entsonkothileyo ngakumbi kunoloyiko olulula.
Ezinye iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokunceda umfazi obethwayo
Ukungena nokuba kuncinci kolu tshintsho lokuqinisekisa ukuba umntu obhinqileyo ovusiweyo malunga nemeko yakhe kunokuba buthathaka kakhulu. Umhlobo wethu, udade wethu, intombi yethu okanye umntu esimaziyo unokuyikhaba le ndlela ngokuvala ngakumbi utshaba lwabo olungachazwanga, bephila kwiphupha lokuba wedwa ngokuchasene nehlabathi elinobutshaba. Okanye uxhatshazo lusenokwanda ngakumbi, ixhoba libekw’ ityala ngokungcatsha ngokuqalisa ukudibana Ayigunyaziswanga.
Isicwangciso sethu sinokuba neenjongo ezintle njengoko sifuna kwaye siphinde sibuyele kwiinjongo zabo. Ekubeni kungenakwenzeka ukuqikelela iinkcukacha zemeko nganye ukuthetha ngamaqhinga achanekileyo, sinokushwankathela ezinye iindlela eziqhelekileyo ezifanele ukusetyenziswa ngokubanzi xa sizifumana sikwimixholo yobundlobongela obungapheliyo obujoliswe kwabasetyhini.
dala indawo
Indlela elula nenamandla kukuvula izithuba zobuqu apho abafazi banokuzivakalisa ngokukhululekileyo. Ngokufutshane ndikuxelele ukuba nakuphi na ukuphazamiseka onokuba nakho sinokumanyelwa sithi, ukufumana isisombululo.
Kwaye chaza amajelo esiwaziyo ukuba akhuselekile kolu nxibelelwano lunokwenzeka, mhlawumbi ngesicelo somyalezo esikhuselekileyo okanye ngokundwendwela indawo eqhelekileyo, indawo yokuzonwabisa okanye umthambo, lowo umxhaphazi ebengenakukrokra.
Kubalulekile kolu nxibelelwano lokuqala ukuba umfazi azive ehamba kunye kwaye exhaswa ngokwenene. Nokuba alikafiki ixesha lakho lokuthatha inyathelo, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kukhumbula ukuba ngubani onokuthembela kuye xa uziva ulungele umsebenzi.
Ukongeza, ukuhlala yedwa kufuneka kuphetshwe, ngokunyanzelisa kwethu ukuphuma kunye nokunxibelelana naye, konke oku phantsi kokhathalelo lwenethiwekhi yenkxaso eyenziwe ngabahlobo, usapho okanye abamelwane. Uqhagamshelwano kufuneka luhlale lugciniwe, njengoko amava angaphandle kweqamza lengcinezelo anceda ekugqibeleni aqhawule, aveze ubunyani.
Ukuxhatshazwa kwasekhaya kunokwenziwa ngabantu abaneengxaki ezinzulu zobuntu, ezifana ne-narcissism kunye nobuntu obungathandekiyo.
thetha wedwa
Kuya kufika ixesha apho ukuvulwa kwezithuba kuya kuvelisa amaxesha onxibelelwano olusondeleyo nomfazi obethwayo. Le ncoko kufuneka iqhutywe ngobuchule obukhulu kunye novelwano, ukuqonda kwinqanaba ngalinye inkqubo yokucinga kunye nomkhwa owakhokelela umhlobo wethu kwimeko yakhe, ngaphandle kwezigwebo zokuziphatha zaluphi na uhlobo. Kubalulekile ukuqinisekisa iimvakalelo zabo kwaye uboleke ukuthembeka kwibali labo.
Ingqondo yomfazi oxhatshazwayo ixesha elide, kwaye oye waqala indlela yakhe ukunyuka emhadini, idla ngokuba yintaba-mlilo yentlungu, uthando oluphikisanayo, umsindo ngenxa yoloyiko kwaye ngaphezu kwayo yonke ihlazo. Iintloni zokuba usenazo iimvakalelo zomxhasi, ngenxa yokuba engazange enze nto ngaphambili, ngokumala nabani na owayezama ukunceda, phakathi kwezinye izinto ezininzi. Zonke ezi mvakalelo zimele ziqondwe kuze kujongwane nazo ebudeni bentetho.
Iimbono ezingathandekiyo esiya kunyanzelwa ukuba siziveze zifanele zithethwe ngothando nangokuthambileyo, kungekhona njengesityholo. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, indlela eqhelekileyo elandelwa ngabaxhaphazi bokulawula kufuneka ibonakaliswe ngokukhawuleza, ukwenza umhlobo wethu abone ukuba akayedwa kumava akhe, ukuba akukho mntu ukhululwe ngokwenene kuyo ngokunikezelwa kweemeko ezithile kwaye kukho iindlela zokuvala umjikelo. .
Uqhagamshelwano neengcali
Xa ixesha lifika lokuthatha amanyathelo aqinisekileyo okuqhawula umjikelo onobungozi wokuxhatshazwa, kufuneka sithathe imida yethu njengabemi abangenamava malunga nokhuseleko kunye semthethweni. Owasetyhini ofuna ukubaleka kuxhatshazo ngoyena usemngciphekweni omkhulu onokubakho. Akazange abe sengozini ngakumbi kulo lonke ubudlelwane obuxhaphazayo. Kwaye umngcipheko wokubulawa kwabasetyhini ujongeka kakubi ngolu hlobo lwetyala.
Ngoko ke, imeko inokukhawuleza iphume esandleni. Kuyimfuneko kwinqanaba elinzulu lokungenelela kwethu ukunceda umfazi ochaphazelekayo ukuba aye kwimibutho ekhethekileyo yokunyamekela ixhoba lobundlobongela basekhaya, njengeenkonzo zentlalontle kunye noncedo olusemthethweni lobundlobongela obusekelwe ngokwesini.
Iinkqubo ezinjalo ziya kuba zizo ezinokuthi zibonelele ngenkxaso ebalulekileyo yokuqala ukubeka ndawonye isicwangciso sokhuseleko, ukubonelela ngoncedo olukhawulezileyo okanye isiqinisekiso sokuphunyuka kwabasetyhini ngexesha elibi kakhulu.
Ngokufanayo, ezi nkonzo ziya kuba nako ukukhokela ngokufanelekileyo kwityala elisemthethweni elinokubakho kumxhaphazi, ukuthintela ngokunyanzeliswayo iindlela zabo, okanye ukuphelisa ubudlelwane ngeenkqubo zeziko, kwimeko yomtshato.
Ukongezelela, ii-arhente zoncedo ziya kukwazi ukuthetha ngokuqhubekayo unyango lwengqondo kunye neengcali, ngexesha nangemva kokunqoba imeko yokuxhatshazwa, ukugcina imiphumo yayo engenakuphepheka phantsi kolawulo.
Isiphelo sendlela yokunceda owasetyhini obethwayo
Ubundlobongela obujoliswe kwabasetyhini ngamaqabane abo ngelishwa ibe yingxaki enkulu yezempilo yoluntu kwihlabathi jikelele. Iipesenti zoxhatshazo olwamkelwe ngabasetyhini kuphando ziphezulu njengenani labasetyhini abangafuniyo ukufaka isikhalazo, ngenxa yenkcubeko egqubayo yokuthula.
Imeko yobhubhane ukusukela ngo-2020 ukubheka phambili yenze imeko esele inzima yambi kakhulu, inyanzelisa ukuhlala ixesha elide ekhaya phakathi kwabantu abanexhala kunye neengxaki zomsindo. Isiphumo kukwanda okumasikizi kokuphathwa gadalala kwasekhaya, kwabasetyhini nabantwana. Zombini ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwezwi nangokwengqondo, kuyingozi ngokulinganayo.
Ngaphandle kwamaziko aqhuba uphando, acacise uncedo kwaye asasaze isohlwayo kwabo banoxanduva, uluntu lonke kufuneka luzicingele njengothungelwano lwenkxaso kunye nokuthintela ukuxhatshazwa kwasekhaya. Wonke ummelwane, iqabane kunye nomhlobo kufuneka banikele ingqalelo kwimpilo-ntle yabafazi babo abasondeleyo, balungele ukubanika ingcaciso kwaye batyhale ukuba baqonde imeko yabo kwaye baphume kuyo ngenkalipho.
Ukuza kuthi ga ngoku inqaku lethu ku indlela yokunceda umfazi obethwayo. Ukuba ubunomdla kwesi sicatshulwa, ungakufumanisa kuluncedo ukufunda esi esinye esinikezelwe ekuphononongeni i iimpawu zesibini esisempilweni. Kuphela ngokugcina umyalelo ophilileyo siya kuchonga ngokuthelekisa umyalelo ogulayo wokulwa nawo. Landela ikhonkco!
